In the classroom next to my office, the Chinese language class is having their last meeting. There have been presentations followed by applause, punctuated by laughter every afternoon this week. All semester long I have heard them every afternoon, the teacher's voice unintelligible even without the bricks of concrete between us, as I do not speak Chinese. It was rather like listening to an increasingly more expressive army or choir repeating her words loudly and more and more clearly. Now they are singing. The music is nothing I know, nothing I have heard. I want to cry for the beauty and the understanding that it is goodbye. The semester is over. Even though it is likely that these people will see each other again, perhaps even in their Chinese study, this time is done. It is time to move on and all that, and they are recognizing it in music. I want to cry.
Walking to work after lunch today, I was behind a group of men all loud and boisterous, less from an exuberant personality trait than the need to speak loudly enough to be heard through the ear muffs that are the ubiquitous and required at this time of year. (in case anyone is coming to the state for the first time, yes, they do hand them out as you cross the border north from Kansas and there are ear muff kiosks at the airports. consider it a public mental health service. cold ears = super cranky.) I do not have any idea what they were talking about, though, not because of my own ear covering, but because I was thoroughly distracted by the precarious position of the pants on the man just in front of me. I have no idea what was holding them up, and I didn't see braces or suspenders, so it might have been sheer luck or will, but my stomach clenched in anticipation of the moment when they would fall, he would fall, and I would have to look away in horror lest I catch of glimpse of underwear I am sure he would rather not acknowledge having. I always assume that everyone is secretly ashamed of their underwear - which is why we keep putting it display - and would not want to make that shame greater by involving myself in it in any way.
Also, I learned that Iowegians change lightbulbs that are blown. Apparently Nebraskans don't, at least not the ones that work at the university. The man who said that was wearing stupid gloves, therefore I do not trust him, even if he is from my mother's home state.
Ula had today off. She was "sick," a condition brought on at her office manager's insistence. Sometimes I am amazed that she can tolerate me, as I would be happy to be unsupervised and have days off randomly with nothing to do but roam around town, and she was so flustered at the change of routine that her phone wasn't ringing properly. Yes, I am convinced that was the problem. Her phone would ring, in her pocket, and neither one of us would hear it. This is the woman who can hear her phone ringing in the bottom of her purse in a crowded bar on a Friday night. And she didn't hear it.
Partly that could be because we were both very unsettled at having just seen/not seen my ex husband, who I didn't see because I was looking at the sandwich shop sign - a thing which I have never done as it is a place into which I will not go on principle (chain) - and she saw him and his girlfriend and I totally missed it, thereby, I am sure, being thoroughly rude. This actually bothers me. Not that I am not rude by nature, but it's disturbing to me to be rude on accident. It indicates a lack of awareness of my surroundings followed by the several moments of concern over how to make it okay - how to prevent any more negativity about me going out into the world. It's selfish, I'm hip.
Ula really should not have days off. Everything is thrown off balance.
Every now and then things are just floomey. They just go all odd and there's really nothing to do but wait them out and read a good book. That's the problem - there's really nothing that you can "do" - not just to make it better, but at all, because everything is all topsy-turvy and any action that is committed will very likely end up having to be committed again. I recommend a nice long read in a very warm place with a glass of water - seriously, I mean water. It's good for you and will help avoid the hangover you are likely to give yourself otherwise. Because, remember, it's not just you for whom the world is all upside down - it's everyone around you and it's the kind of thing that is catching.
It's a good thing that I have a healthy sense of the goddess's humor.
The students are gone now. The hall is quiet, and there is much to think about that has nothing to do with any of this.
I hope you all have wonderful weekends and are safe and warm.
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